Don’t Go to Bed Angry

by T Jansen on February 20, 2011

If it is time for bed and you are in the middle of a knockdown, drag-out fight you should stop long enough for a reality check.  Can this be resolved tonight when you are both already tired and not at your best?  Does it need to be resolved tonight? Because you are so angry will you even be able to hear what is being said?  Is it possible that after a good night’s sleep this may be easier to deal with?  Most likely you will decide that your argument can wait.

Make Appointments

So, agree to table the discussion, don’t just storm off to your separate corners. Make a conscious agreement together that says you are not going to resolve this right now, let’s table the discussion until tomorrow. You can even wait until the weekend if you want to, but make sure that you set a specific time for revisiting the argument.

This will give both of you time to cool down and let rational thought be the controlling factor in the equation instead of emotions. Also, by setting a time aside for when you will come back to resolve the disagreement you are avoiding letting bad feelings fester and you are taking proactive control of your lives.

Can one sleep when Angry?

We’d all have to agree that it is hard to sleep when you are angry.  So, once you’ve found a way to set the argument aside it is important for both of you to find something positive to focus on so you can let go of the anger and get a good night’s sleep.  Can you agree to recount the reasons why you love each other?  If you can emphasize some positive things about each other you might begin letting go of the anger and the tension. And you are reconnecting on a more positive level.

This probably sounds silly, but just sitting face to face, holding hands and breathing calmly, with your eyes closed or gazing at each other – the tension can wash away.  The argument may still exist but you’ve just realized that your relationship is more important than the argument.  Now it will be easier for you to fall asleep without the argument brewing inside.

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: